It's been more than four months since I last blogged and it is directly related to the busyness of this current season in our life. I'm plain old tired of life's busyness right now! I am not a person who thrives on having a full calendar and stretched in multiple directions. In fact, such seasons of life leave me worn out both physically and mentally. When I get stretched too thin, I get horribly grumpy (to put it nicely). Thank God for a loving, supportive, gracious, patient, and humble husband who loves me!
I recently read a very appropriate description of my current state in a book I thank God for putting in my Mardel shopping cart called
Real Simplicity - it has been the best buck I've spent in a very long time! Excuse me for the paraphrase but here goes...while fixing fresh lemonade the author compares herself to a freshly squeezed lemon; sitting on the counter deflated because all of its goodness has been 'used up'. I froze and just meditated on that analogy because I could so strongly relate.
On April 30th Mark came home {just three weeks before we are due to finally close on our lot and construction loan - after three prior extensions since December} and he told me his boss in Houston quit and went to work for a competitor, and Mark may be in line to replace him. A million thoughts flood my mind. A move to Houston? Now? Seriously?
For the next several days and weeks we talked about it, prayed about it, and even worried about it; all while keeping up with all there is to accomplish towards the original plan of building a home here and the looming closing date. I felt as though I was living in two worlds. From the moment Mark mentioned Houston, Proverbs 3:5-6 was forever in my thoughts and we had to trust that He would make our path straight...and in His time.
Trust in the
Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
While Anna napped I was researching school districts, churches, preschools, and neighborhoods in Houston. After the kids were in bed I was making my to-do list for who to call the next day regarding staying on schedule to close on our construction loan and lot. And the clock was ticking...loudly.
And as all of this was going on and we were desperately seeking God's guidance and answers, He quickly revealed himself in ways we didn't expect. Since fall a huge bulk of my time and energy has been split between work and house planning, and my time to focus on my role as Mom had diminished. While I attempted to balance so many roles and be everything to everybody, my kids were starting to seek negative attention through poor behavior, bickering, emotional roller coasters, and verbal frustration. I was slowly losing ground as an authority figure for my children and and I was ready to admit that 'enough was enough'. Something had to give. God was clearly telling us to simplify our lives as a family and as individuals.
Living in one city for more than seven consecutive years is rare in the oil field. I have always told Mark the kids and I will go where he goes. If there is a career path he feels called to take, I am with him one hundred percent. But in this case, Mark and I agreed that not accepting the chance at a position that is more demanding, and would require frequent travel and a move out of state, is wise for the well-being of our family right now. No paycheck or corporate title is worth the deterioration of our family structure.
And we also concluded that me working from home and the office, day and evening hours, was not where my focus needed to be right now. But God already had a plan in the works to address our concerns about me working. My amazing boss is graciously allowing me to cut back on my hours by handing off some of the time-consuming tasks of coordinating volunteers to a new hire. This will enable me to be
present for my kids both physically and mentally, while still retaining the design, web and creative tasks of my job that I love.
God has recently given me a new perspective...one of simplicity. And I'm excited about that! As summer approaches and school ends, I am really looking forward to a season of fun and bonding with my kids. Sad to say I can't remember the last time we just had a fun day together without a phone call, an email, or a house-related errand or meeting getting in the way.
With the Lord's help, we are starting fresh on a straighter path...for our kids' well-being and our own.
On November 1st of last year we put a contract on a residential acreage a few miles north of where we currently live but within the same town. Leading up to that decision we spent years touring countless resale homes and driving through so many new developments in search of land to build, that I feel I know this town better than some who have lived here all their life. Nothing ever seemed to be the right fit for our family so we waited.
